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<p>時刻把自己當孫子，因為全世界都你大爺?shù)?/p><p>1、我討厭我等了半天你的消息，結果就一句呵呵，你當我是講笑話呢？</P>2、我真的不愿意用腳趾頭鄙視你，但是，是你逼我這么做的！</P>3、我什么都要，就是不要臉。什么都吃，就是不吃虧。</P>4、食堂的東西很難吃，不過吃過我老婆做的東西之后，我決定繼續(xù)吃食堂！</P>5、我的原則是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生氣！</P>6、現(xiàn)在的夢想決定著我的將來，所以還是再睡一會吧。</P>7、買了一只雞蛋，卻無意中打破了，我知道我和這只蛋是有緣無份了。</P>8、一旦學會了破罐子破摔，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)世界豁然開朗</P>9、人生就像一碗面條，好不好吃就要看你怎么放佐料。</P>10、過完了今天，就不要再見面，我害怕每天醒來揍你好幾遍</P>11、不要惹姐，姐有秘密武器：一巴掌拍死你，兩巴掌扇死你，三巴掌我滅了你</P>12、神啊，賜予我寫作業(yè)的力量吧</P>13、風格是不用保持的，要保持的就不是風格了。</P>14、總有一群隱身的朋友如死人一般躺在你的好友列表里，偶爾詐詐尸，時不時還會改改他們的墓志銘。</P>15、我不是真的要吃，而是我的嘴巴想運動了。</P>16、寧愿悲哀的深刻，不愿開心的膚淺。</P>17、最殘酷的現(xiàn)實就是：喜歡的姑娘是別人的，不喜歡的姑娘也是別人的</P>18、閉上眼睛，我看到了我的前途</P>19、我對你說的每句謊話都是真的</P>20、難過時，吃一粒糖，告訴自己生活是甜的！</P>21、時刻把自己當孫子，因為全世界都你大爺?shù)摹?/P>22、每當發(fā)現(xiàn)自己做錯事的時候，我就會用磚頭砸別人的腦袋</P>23、不能去騙別人，因為你能騙到的人，都是信任你的。</P>24、女友以前挺自卑的，于是我不遺余力的開導她，結果現(xiàn)在她自信了，看不上我了</P>25、胸小怎么了？正好可以縮小兩顆心的距離</P>26、考試害了多少孩子，讓多少誠實的孩子學會了作弊</P>27、人生的悲慘在于：辛辛苦苦的作了一晚上內容香艷的美夢，第二天早上醒來居然全都記不起來了！</P>28、不要對我說對不起，因為我們沒關系。</P>29、我們總是有做不完的工作，吐不完的怨氣，減不完的肥，理不完的大爺，罵不完的SB，這就是生活</P>30、生活就像高潮，當你無力反抗，不如閉目享受。</P>31、懷舊--不是因為那個時代有多好，而是因為那個時候你年輕。</P>32、本想讓紙飛機帶我飛進你心里，不料半路墜機</P>33、你光著身子追我兩公里，我回一次頭都算我是流氓</P><p>【時刻把自己當孫子，因為全世界都你大爺?shù)摹肯嚓P文章：</p><p><a 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